23 February 2021


Do you remember at school interviews when the teacher would say to the parents: “She’s good, but she could do so much more!”

What is that “much more”?

That more is all that you have inside you, which has the possibility of being realized. It already exists in power. The more is your potential.

The tools and resources are there, they are inside us, but we do not use them all because we are not even aware that we have them.

The resources must first be awakened, and then trained so that we can use all their power.

We are born to be authentic. Authenticity is our natural state.
Apart from the enlightened and the hermits, we all live in a social context where our needs meet the needs of others, right?
Even if you live alone now, surely you have experienced living with other people, working in common spaces. Is the boundary between your freedom and that of others so obvious?

When our needs merge with those of others, it is easy to get lost.
In order to find the path towards being fully yourself, it is important to know yourself well, to know what you have inside you in order to make the best use of your resources.

Imagine having a garage with a nice car in it, or a motorbike, or a nice bike. But no one has ever told you that that garage is yours!
You have been using your broken-down bike to go to work for years.
Are you still alive? Of course you do! But how much simpler would it be to tackle the road with a sturdier machine that you enjoy and gives you satisfaction?

I am not telling you this out of optimism or to make you believe that positive thinking will help you solve all your problems.  It is not possible to be happy all the time.
Life is made up of different experiences, through some experiences we are happy, but not all experiences lead to pleasure, enjoyment, excitement.

I can honestly say that the pursuit of pleasure for its own sake does not lead to pleasure. There are high peaks of excitement in the short term, but they don’t last long.

One human aspect, which if explored and cultivated leads to happiness in the sense of fulfillment, is potential. And the beautiful thing is that every person has a unique set of potentials within them.

One way that makes sense is to explore our potential to become the best version of ourselves. Realizing our potential leads us to self-fulfillment, to being fully ourselves. We walk the road with the means we have, even on foot if we like to walk, but I recommend the right shoes!

Do you remember Paola, our heroine from the first episode of the podcast? A 30-year-old woman who lost her job, remember? On that occasion we talked about needs.
Well, self-fulfillment is a luxury we can afford when our needs are met.

If our needs are met, our level of functioning is high.

We can think of our potential if we are safe, if we have food, if we have oxygen. Now more than ever this year, this concept is clear: if you are well enough, then you can afford the luxury of studying new things, of using this time to delve into subjects that need concentration.

Those who find themselves in a situation of economic and/or social hardship certainly don’t have developing their potential as a priority, right?
When we are ill we just survive. If you are reading this article now, perhaps it is because you have the luxury of dedicating yourself to your own evolution as a human being.

When needs are not met for a long time, dysfunctional behavior can occur.

While hunger and thirst are needs that are easy to decode, the need for belonging or esteem is more difficult to recognize, which is why it is so important to know ourselves well, to know what we need and then move our actions towards possible satisfaction.

The real luxury is therefore to be able to devote ourselves to self-fulfillment, to be able to know and make the best use of our talents and resources, to be able to use them to their full potential.

It is all within us. We are born with potential, and only when we are well enough we have the opportunity to explore our gifts in order to become what we already are in power.

So we are truly fulfilled when we realize our potential, when we put into practice all that we are in power.

The mix that each of us has as potential varies: there are those who are dedicated to the search for truth, those who are dedicated to developing opportunities that bring a profit, those who are dedicated to creativity, beauty, relationships and sharing; to power, to influencing others; those who are dedicated to spiritual connection and the deep search for the meaning of existence.

In a world of pure logic these areas would be distinct, but fortunately we are made up of body, mind and emotions, so we can create unique and original mixes of characteristics, talents, resources, interests.

We can only blossom and flourish when we reach the realization of our potential, that mix which for many remains a secret. Until we know this secret, we are not truly happy, we are not complete and satisfied.

In order to be authentic we need to find a lifestyle in line with our propensity.

To get to know your potential there is only one way: know yourself!
Re-discover your resources, develop your strengths, discover your talents, cultivate them and use your abilities. In this way you can become fully yourself.

In this week’s episode of the podcast I introduce Luca, a rational and serious 45-year-old manager, a man of integrity. I tell you how, through play, we found other pieces of him, the very pieces he was missing to be happy, to enjoy what he has. He already had them, they were inside him, but he could no longer remember having them!

Each one of us is born with an inclination, a temperament.
Then we developed a personality, cognitive abilities, talents.
If you don’t know what you have inside, how can you use it!

Explore your parts, inside you there is a unique mixture of talents and resources. A great wealth, a treasure waiting to be discovered.
Just like Luca, meet the American Indian in you, explore the little dog, the Santa Claus, listen to his needs!

When we reclaim forgotten parts of ourselves, we integrate.
It’s true that if we just think about it, we seem crazy, but it’s in allowing ourselves this craziness, this playfulness, that we move towards the way home: integration.

So come on, go get your toolbox and start playing. If you prefer to play with me, I’m here, waiting for you ;-)

The self-actualized person is not a person with something extra, but a person from whom not too much has been taken away, let’s put it that way.

There are people who have lost really big parts, they have lost the path. Try to think about the people you know… not all of us can strive for a high level of self-realization. It’s really a luxury to be able to do that.

Self-realization is not a badge, but a state that keeps growing. It’s up to you to nurture that area and develop it, the metaphor that gets the idea across is always that of the garden… courgettes have to be replanted every year, it’s not enough to put the seedling in once to have courgettes for life, understand?

We are not talking about perfect people, but about people who give meaning to their lives by knowing themselves and the reality around them.

Even when we reach a good level of self-fulfillment, we still encounter difficulties and challenges. The difference is how we face them: with more maturity.

See you soon, with a little more authenticity!