29 April 2020

HOW DO EMOTIONAL NUANCES COLOR YOUR LIFE?

The journey through emotions continues: this time I would like to explore the nuances that most characterize our palette, our way of seeing the world.

Why do some people respond aggressively in the face of uncertainty?
Why do others close themselves in doubt and fail to react?
Why are some people driven towards change and others terrified of it?

Reality is one, but each of us perceives it differently: as if we were wearing colored lenses that we are often unaware of. These metaphorical lenses I’m referring to depend on the way we are in the world, on our character. We can learn to recognize lenses, clean them, try different shades, but very few human beings live without lenses. Character is formed during the evolutionary age, then we can evolve, blunt the corners, become more aware, but getting rid of character completely seems to be possible only for the enlightened. So it’s worth getting to know our structure better and working on it, isn’t it?

The three primary nuclear emotions on the basis of which we react to external impulses that we perceive as negative are: Fear, Anger and Sadness.

We are free only when we can take responsibility for our thoughts, our actions and our feelings, when in front of emotions we are able to distance ourselves and observe, without reacting automatically. Recognizing which of these three nuclear emotions responds first to external triggers can be of great help in knowing oneself.

When I work with nuclear emotions I always have the Enneagram in mind: a “map” for self-understanding and inner transformation that describes nine personality types and the relationships between them. I find this map very fascinating, which needs a lot of in-depth analysis and comparison, but I’m an enthusiast and not an expert! So I take my cue from the map, from other studies and experiences to present you these three primary emotions hoping to give you a hint to get to know you better.
Today we explore Fear.

FEAR
Fear is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant and intense feeling, experienced when you perceive a real or imaginary danger.

It is the most primitive emotion we have: the baby already in his mother’s belly can be afraid, even without being aware of it.
Fear should prepare us for survival, we need it to respond to risk and danger.

Our defenses are activated both in case of real danger, like a car that comes running towards us, and for situations imagined, misunderstood or exaggerated. It warns us of danger so that caution can be developed.

How do you feel your body when you’re afraid?
For years I have experienced a pressure in my chest, a muscle contraction, a knot, a block that generates a general discomfort. When I discovered that Fear is the emotion I feel the most, I suddenly relaxed, made friends with it. We all have Fear, but we are very skillful at hiding it under the most imaginative manifestations.

To recognize Fear we don’t necessarily have to find ourselves shaking like leaves: insecurity, nervousness, worry, uncertainty, anxiety, stress, restlessness, blockage, doubts, excuses, apprehension, mistrust, susceptibility, suspicion, phobia.. to the point of panic and terror are all shades of Fear.

Fear characterizes the emotional world of rational, cognitive characters.
Rationality helps to exorcise Fear: through reason those who are in Fear try to explain what they do not understand and do not know, the mysterious, the unknown.
Based on thought, they are characters that block desires and take refuge in fantasy; the experience of Fear highlights highlights their suspicious and cautious trait. With the splitting mechanism they detach themselves from reality and find in the mind a safe place where they can think and create theories, while remaining stifled by doubts. Through the mechanism of projection they attribute to others their impulses, especially aggressive ones, so as to become imperturbable, but they lose energy and capacity for involvement. They love more with thought than with participation and, not fearing loneliness, they keep others at a safe distance.

Reactions to Fear therefore manifest themselves in different ways:

A- I stay in doubt and indecision;

B- I choose to face it head-on, for example, with extreme sports;

C- fanaticism;

D- I get distracted so I don’t feel it;

E- I devote myself to the good of others so I don’t feel it;

F- I’m so afraid of being screwed that I always imagine the worst-case scenario;

G- I withdraw into solitude;

Which one of these options resonates with you the most?
What is your way of living the Fear?

During the online workshop on May 6 we will explore Fear, Anger and Sadness through creativity, a playful and effective way to make friends with these emotions that sometimes make life difficult for us. Book your place!