20 May 2020

JOY!!!!

Do you remember when we talked about the fascinating Japanese model IKIGAI? We were talking about the broad concept of finding the meaning of life to be happy, right? And here we are, finally, coming to Joy, the happiest of nuclear emotions.
Joy is inside each of us, we can all experience it, just like Fear
, Sadness and Anger.

When I work with the character map of the Enneagram, I like to place Joy at the center, as something to aim for, as if the very meaning of our existence was simply to be happy, to be well.

I feel this emotion so often that I find it almost difficult to talk about it in an organized way. I feel Joy as an essential quality of mine. I will try to go in small steps, trying to communicate to you the nuances I see by taking a journey backwards, starting from the present moment, the here and now.

The Joy that I feel lately is sober, it is an inner state of well-being linked to small, simple things. At this precise moment I am sitting at my desk with the window open, some sun comes in and I hear birds singing. I feel a sparkling energy rising to my chest, keeping me straight, present. I feel pleasure, but I’m not looking for it.

My personality is characterized by the constant search for pleasure, a strategy put in place as a child not to feel pain. Of course I feel pain, but I am very quick to find an alternative when something is wrong. In my search for pleasure I have always projected myself towards the future, often missing the present. What I felt was happiness for something achieved, excitement for something I was waiting for, strong motivational drive to feel good, not to feel bad. Search for fun, search for strong emotions, search for alternatives.
Beautiful, but very tiring. All the energy put into this search sometimes caused me energy collapses, states of anxiety that accompanied me for at least ten years. The more I tried to push it away, the more it grew, so I was very committed to devote myself to pleasant projects and activities, unintentionally feeding a vicious circle.

In 2008, tired and frightened, I began a path of personal growth. I didn’t choose it at random, I got advice from a wise friend who seemed to understand my need perfectly, perhaps because it was similar to his. I chose a path of group therapy where moments of strong contact with one’s own experiences alternate with pure celebration, without a why, or rather we celebrate life. The constant always present: meditation. In those years I learned to give a name to emotions, I understood the meaning of happiness when I get something desired, when I drink a beer at sunset, when I buy a new pair of shoes. A happiness that is often limited in time.
I have understood the word enthusiasm, I have seen how much enthusiasm I feel when faced with new things, an excellent antidote to boredom. After so many laughs and so many cries I began to feel the Joy. It was the year of the Mystic Rose, in Miasto.

I’m telling you all this because for me Joy is something more than a good moment, it’s a state of the soul.

On the surface my character is cheerful, yes, but Joy has a different flavor.
My cheerfulness laughs with my mouth wide open, it’s partying, sometimes it’s intrusive, annoying for those who are not on the same wavelength. It’s a great resource, I’m magnetic, contagious, but it requires energy.

Joy is calm, laughs inside, vibrates, recharges, regenerates. It’s not reacting to something, it doesn’t activate so as not to feel fear, sadness or anger. It’s a state. A state that we can only experience in the present moment.

We recognize Joy by the smile, by the light in our eyes. The energy is calm.

This is what pure joy is to me. This is how I feel.
If I look at the nuances, I see them colored in different intensities depending on the amount of energy. At this point I really want to know how you feel the Joy: would you like to tell me about it? If you don’t want to go public, write to me in private.