Are you ready for change? Do you really want to change? Lately we have been talking about creative adjustment: the ability to adapt to changes is certainly a useful resource, it allows us to find solutions, to learn from small or big problems that life puts in front of us. In this case, the change comes from outside, you can only decide whether to live it as an opportunity or to suffer it, right?

What blocks our authenticity? What blocks us from becoming fully who we are? What blocks our self-fulfilment? What blocks creativity? What blocks empathy? What prevents us from really understanding ourselves?

Others are not you! Each one of us sees the world from his own perspective. Others see the world in a strange way because it is different from our point of view, but there is no right or wrong. WE ARE ALL STRANGERS TO SOMEONE ELSE.

Why do some people respond aggressively when faced with uncertainty? Why do others close themselves off in doubt and fail to react? Why are some people driven towards change and others terrified of it?

How do we use creativity in everyday life? We are in constant relationship with the outside world, in constant exchange. An exchange that allows us to satisfy our needs, while respecting the needs of others and the environment. This is what I mean when I talk about the sustainability of human relations.

Are we ready to go out into the world? Yes, now that the personal dimension is clear, we can open up to a broader perspective. In organisational counselling we always start from the person, from self-management. If you do not know yourself, how can you manage other people or even organisations? Yes, I know, a lot of people in positions of power don’t seem to have developed much awareness, but we try hard and take responsibility, right?

In companies we now talk a lot about purpose: the ultimate goal, that key element that drives the business, that goes beyond profit. It is clear to everyone now that the organisational model whose sole purpose is to make a profit does not attract talent and no longer works. Paradigms have changed, and I personally find myself much better off working with both young people and companies that share this shift.

Now you are clear about which things you like, which things give you energy and which things you are good at, right? Have you noticed that some of these things come easier to you than others? Talent is a gift we are born with, a natural inclination to be able to do something spontaneously, without effort. It’s that thing or set of things that come easy to us, for which we are suited, but if we don’t know this part of ourselves and don’t use it to the best of our ability, what’s the point? Talent is of little use if it is not accompanied by creativity.

Whatever we want to do, whatever change we want to make, even minimal, requires us to put our resources into play. But what are resources? Any cognitive, emotional, experiential skills at your disposal. We use resources to solve problems. What have you done in the past to solve a problem? Did it work? Well, then that’s your resource!

Where does your life energy come from? When we live an authentic life things start to flow, things start to go right. We are in tune with ourselves, we give ourselves goals to achieve that are congruent with our nature, with our intrinsic values. It is our motivation that drives us. What is motivation? Motivation is the reason why we do things, the reason why we take action: MOTIV-ATION.

Which things make you feel good? How do we find our purpose in life? What if the purpose is to live authentically? What if it’s simply learning how to function at our best? To flourish for who we are and flow?

We said that we constantly relate to the external environment to satisfy our needs, right? How do we relate to the environment? Are we able to see things as they are and evaluate the most functional way to interact? Each of us perceives reality according to our character, according to our defence mechanisms.

In order to realise our potential we need relationships that are rich in empathy, genuine. Relationships that make us feel unconditionally supported. We need to be in relationships with people who inspire us to bring out the best in us. Relationships without empathy, those full of judgement and prejudice are toxic for us. Sometimes we don’t realise it, we don’t realise it because we are used to judgement, it is precisely that which has conditioned us.

I am only good if… On what conditions do you recognise your value? What is the distance between your introjected expectations and your true and authentic vision of life? Let’s take a closer look at how all those external factors that we have introjected affect our self-esteem, the value we place on ourselves. As children we learn to behave in a certain way to meet the expectations others have of us. Adults who take care of us are not always aware that they are projecting those expectations onto us, asking us what is important to them.

19 March 2021 Do you struggle to find motivation? Do you struggle to find solutions? Did you play enough as a child? Today we explore the relationship between having good motivation, i.e. having a reason to act, and having played freely as a child.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, FREEDOM, BELONGING and CONDITIONING We have all been children: do you remember what you really needed? What were you willing to do in order to feel seen and loved? How important was it for you to play and feel free to explore? We have said that our character is formed in response to the environment in which we live. In the early years of our lives we adapt in order to meet our needs. We need to be loved, and in return for that love we are willing to do anything, even give up on ourselves.

RECOGNIZE YOUR AUTOPILOT We are born with potential: as children we are spontaneous and authentic. Just as our courgette seed grows into a beautiful courgette plant when placed in the soil with sun and water, we human beings naturally tend towards becoming fully who we are, towards self-realization. But it is not always so, and all around us we have many examples to look at, including those seedlings that break, that do not grow, that take the storm. It is also true that sometimes wonderful things happen: do you know when you are walking in the city and you see green sprouting from the cracks in the asphalt? It’s crazy to observe the power of nature, of life.

Do you remember at school interviews when the teacher would say to the parents: “She’s good, but she could do so much more!” What is that “much more”? That more is all that you have inside you, which has the possibility of being realized. It already exists in power. The more is your potential.

What does it take to be authentic? Has anyone ever told you that to be able to improvise you need to know the subject matter really well? To be authentic we need to know ourselves well, to know how we function, to be aware of what is going on inside us in response to the environment, to know how to manage ourselves, to be prepared. We enter the big chapter of knowing ourselves, the heart of my work.

Stop for a moment, I’m sure your mind is doing some talking! Is this your wise inner voice? No!!! This is the mind. Useful, fundamental, only we humans have this ability, but it is only the mind. Don’t waste time trying to be someone else, better to invest time in you and develop the best of who you really are no?

Stop for a moment: listen to yourself right now, while you are reading. Let’s bring your attention for a minute to…

At the end of this Monday’s episode of the podcast “Re-Discover Your Authenticity” (Italian only), I greet you by saying that in order to start telling ourselves the truth we need...

NEEDS and INTEGRATION. Paola’s case. Last week, in introducing the great theme of authenticity, I wrote: “In order to realize our potential we must take care of us, cultivate our resources, nurture our relationships, so that we can grow like beautiful plants nourished by water and sunshine. When our basic needs like a roof, food, a job are met, we can devote ourselves to our personal growth.”

AUTHENTICITY: the way to a full and happy life. I’ve made up my mind: this year I want to focus on the topic I care most about: authenticity. Articles, posts, webinars and … a podcast! Vlady convinced me, and after setting up the microphone and programs, I can’t back down anymore. I’ve always written and posted about topics that I feel are true, valid at the time, so for me to choose a topic and explore it for an entire year is a big challenge, but I’m ready, are you?

QUALITY TIME: THE GREATEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF. The one person we are certain to spend our entire lives with, until our last breath, is ourselves. It doesn’t matter what roles we have: child, parent, artist, executive, worker, farmer. We are all human beings, with our needs, our passions, our virtues.

The mind lies, the body does not lie. We are so clever that we have learned to keep quiet in the face of uncomfortable situations. Verbal communication and our cognitive are able to find words, justifications, stories. Stories that when told well seem true, they save us from embarrassing situations. The problem arises when we believe the stories we tell ourselves, losing contact with reality and stopping working without even realizing it.

The human being, child or adult, is only able to be creative when playing. In the game explores his whole personality, not just the most neurotic part. In the game explores its resources, finds solutions to problems. In being creative he discovers himself for what he really is, in his total authenticity.

What used to be a limit is now a resource. The transformation. As a job I facilitate change in people and teams, but more than change it is about transforming what doesn’t work into something that works. Our character structure cannot be changed. Our passions and cognitive fixations remain the same, but when we become aware of them we can transform them into more functional behaviors and attitudes.

Many people ask me how to understand what their way is. I discovered it by living, walking, sometimes by bike and sometimes by plane. Today I can tell you that helping others to re-discover themselves is my way! My name is Marina Tonella, I’m 44 years old and I am Mestieri-LAB® founder, a community where education, industry and school meet.

It’s the middle of July and I really want a holiday and lightness. I leave the most serious topics for the autumn and I remain on the subject of “pleasure”, the topic for the next course on September 16 (link will follow shortly!).

I’m glad to see that last week’s article intrigued you! Today I speak to the feminine that is inside every human being, in percentages that vary regardless of sex and gender. Motherhood is an aspect of the feminine.

You’re right, maybe I just assumed you know what you like. Especially during the individual sessions, I realize that the answer to the questions “What do you like? What makes you feel good?” is not that immediate. Knowing yourself means understanding how we work, and at the basis of our functioning there is the PLEASURE/ PAIN principle.

Today is Wednesday, and like every Wednesday I write an article. A year ago I met Elisabetta, and we started working together shaping the website, the socials. Elisabetta taught me to be patient and consistent: the online requires withdrawal, I can’t write and post only when I feel like it.

Finally, today, we get to the heart of the Enneagram. Last Wednesday we said that Enneagram is a geometric figure, formed by a circle on whose circumference are marked nine points, equidistant from each other. Three of these points are connected to each other and form a triangle, which is inscribed in the circle. The other six points are connected to each other by straight lines. So in total there are nine points and nine straight lines, as many as there are enneatypes.

Today we will talk about the upper part of the Enneagram map: we have already said that Anger, expressed and not, covers the emotions of Fear and Sadness, so it is no coincidence that the three enneatypes that feel Anger as the main emotion, are placed at the top of the diagram. By “expressed or not” I mean that the nuance of this emotion varies greatly between the characters of “belly”.

I’ve been mentioning the Enneagram in every article for at least two months, are you curious to know what it is and why I’m so passionate about it? The Enneagram is a “map” for self-comprehension and inner transformation that describes nine personality types and the relationships between them. Each personality represents the crystallization of our childhood defenses: each of us has had a “primary lack” and our personality is formed around it. The child creates behaviors to deal with this primary lack, then these behaviors tend to fix themselves in a coherent and structured way of acting, or rather based both on a substrate of thoughts and values.

Do you remember when we talked about the fascinating Japanese model IKIGAI? We were talking about the broad concept of finding the meaning of life to be happy, right? And here we are, finally, coming to Joy, the happiest of nuclear emotions. Joy is inside each of us, we can all experience it, just like Fear, Sadness and Anger.

In the past few weeks we’ve known Fear, the most nuclear of emotions. We then explored the nuances of Sadness. Today it is the turn of Anger: less primitive than other emotions, it emerges as a reaction to something that we do not like, that we do not accept, that we desire and that we do not get. It manifests itself in reaction to an injustice. Anger creates frustration for us, a theme that we must surely study in depth.

Today I want to explore Sadness, an emotion that I have kept away from me for a long time for Fear of not being able to handle its intensity. I’ll tell you now, so that you can read this article with the awareness that the writer does not see the world through the filter of this important emotion: my Sadness has been soiled with Fear, so my job is to clean it so that it can shine its purest color!

The journey through emotions continues: this time I would like to explore the nuances that most characterize our palette, our way of seeing the world. Why do some people respond aggressively in the face of uncertainty? Why do others close themselves in doubt and fail to react? Why are some people driven towards change and others terrified of it?

Tonight at 6.30 pm CET on Facebook Live, as every night for 40 nights, we will choose an emotion to explore and then express it with colors and recycled material. I’ve never talked about it here on the website, but today, on the 40th day, I feel like I can say a few words about the validity of this work, and how I could develop it in the future for companies and schools.

I often use this expression in my workshops, both with students and with managers, and during this time of hyper information I want to stop for a moment and explore the meaning that “being sustainable in our relationships” has for me.

Attracted by the cover showing a cherry blossom, and by the Japanese term, I red a book by Bettina Lemke: IKIGAI. IKIGAI is a Japanese term that cannot be translated in a single word, but it can be explained by the concept of finding the meaning of life in order to be happy. Japanese culture has always fascinated me and I’ve been so lucky to travel to Tokyo several times for work, almost 15 years ago now.

Last week I shared with you my passion to design new projects , today I would like to focus on the process. Let’s take a step back. Each project differentiate for the goals that it proposes, for the products and the results to achieve, for the context in which it is placed, for the timing and the resources assigned to it, for the identity of those who works on it and of the recipients.

Since the very first years in the companies I have always worked on “special projects”: following new paths, without established procedures, but to be invented. Thanks to the Enneagram character map, I discovered that planning is my most marked neurotic trait. In a broad sense, planning means taking a break, understanding where we are in the present moment, who we are, what we are doing. Based on our goals, we understand how to move forward, which actions shall we take to take to make it happen? Which options make sense to us? In which direction shall we proceed, considering who we are, what we have been and what we could be in the future?

“I’m like this, I can’t help it”, “I’ve always done like this”, “It’s impossible”, “I can’t” … Have you ever heard these sentences? They are convictions, things we believe to be true.

Change is the transition from the current state of a situation to the desired state, with the use of resources that we have available. With the years and the experience we acquire skills, which together with the resources should accompany us in the change, right?

What does it mean to be realised? In what? Why? What does self-realization mean? To become truly and fully ourselves. To accept and grow what we really are. It is an intrinsic process: I have everything inside, I realise myself by becoming what I already am.

When we talk about resources it is often difficult to identify them, especially for some characters it is much easier to start from the defects, right? I guess you can write right now a list of at least 10 aspects of you that you don’t like, that you think are dysfunctional. Our most precious resources sleep within us, and to wake them up we must delicately go inside, overcome the surface.

Aware of taking the risk of sounding banal, today I would like to share with you the meaning of talent, creativity and potential. Those who attend my seminars say that I arrive because I speak in a simple way, which reaches everyone. Over the years I have noticed that apart from the role that a human being plays in an organisation, my way of relating is authentic, it does not affect me the role of the person in front of me, rather I am interested in finding a common language, words that for both (or more than just the two of us) have the same meaning. I don’t expect that the CEO knows exactly the meaning of the words I use, it depends on what experiences they have lived in relation to that word. I met municipal employees much more creative than some stylists, not for this able to design a collection!

A year and a half ago they asked me to be part of a leadership course as a teacher. Initially I had many doubts: what can I teach about leadership? Then I asked myself: why did they choose me? My area of ​​expertise is about getting to know yourself better.

Creativity is often confused with art or talent. Talent is a gift that we have from birth and it is not very useful when used without creativity. The purpose of the majority of my workshops is to let the participants get in touch with their self creativity. To recognise the strong, revolutionary energy that brings both joy and torment. To learn feeling it as it is, and then express it freely.

It all started with the need of feeling better and taking care of myself, that actually make sense being my structure a 7 Conservative following the Enneagram map. I started working in fashion in 2001 and my love and passion for work were pushing me beyond my limitation sometimes. It was my way “not to feel too much”, not to get in touch with my hidden emotions. Whatsoever we keep in the dark and trying to hide actually carry a lot of energy and starts to find his own way to come to the surface, either we like it or not. I was just feeling confused, with peaks of energy and panic attacks were emerging, so I started to find help. In the beginning, I found traditional doctors that gave me Xanax or Shiatzu therapist that was saying “you need to relax”. But: how can I relax? I need all of my energy to be good at work! This is how my path started almost 20 years ago!

Trying to make it simple, I see the personal growth path divided into 3 main steps: 1_becoming Aware, Seeing Reality For What It Is 2_learning To Stay With What Is There, Accepting Reality 3_then It Is Possible To Change!