Whatever we want to do, whatever change we want to make, even minimal, requires us to put our resources into play.
But what are resources? Any cognitive, emotional, experiential skills at your disposal. We use resources to solve problems.
What have you done in the past to solve a problem?
Did it work? Well, then that’s your resource!
Over the last few weeks we have explored what you like, then what motivates you, today we look at those things that we are good at, that we are able to do.
For some people it’s easy to recognise their own qualities, some of us can recognise objectively what we are good at.
For other people it is difficult, partly because of a lack of self-esteem, partly because in many families and cultures behaviour and actions that lead to a positive result are not valued.
Try to think about who compliments you, who esteems you, who appreciates you….
What do they say about you?
If you feel like drawing, imagine that you are a mix of the people who value you, draw yourself with their hand! Take some time, make yourself comfortable: draw the best version of yourself.
Then start writing down all the adjectives that the people who most respect and admire you would use to describe you.
What a good cake you’ve made, how cosy your house is… it’s relaxing to be with you…. you make me feel at ease…. how organised you are, how well you speak the English language… you always have great ideas for trips, how good you are at research, how precise you are in sewing, cleaning…. how well you write… how clearly you speak… how well you dress… how empathetic you are… how easily you learn…. how charismatic you are, how sociable you are, how creative, how pragmatic… and so on!
Have you been able to write down at least 10 qualities?
Try to read them again now, try to listen to yourself with your whole body and FEEL what qualities, resources, strengths really belong to you.
These are usually things you enjoy doing, and that you do well!
That’s where the satisfaction comes from: they come out well, they make you feel good, so you want to do them again!
I suggest you always start with the small and easy things, the things you usually take for granted. Example: you have friends over for dinner, and you want to make risotto.
This is a project: in your current state you are in the office and working.
In your desired state, your project is to sit down for dinner with your friends and a nice plate of asparagus risotto.
What resources do you need?
– you need to know how to make risotto, or at least know what recipe to follow
– you need rice
– asparagus, stock… and all the ingredients you want to use
you also need money for shopping.
Is that clear?
You cook risotto because you like to eat it, you put passion into it, you feel good while you’re making it, you’ve learnt how to make it well, you know you’re making it the right way, at least the way you like it, you’re enthusiastic… you’re motivated to make it.
In the same way we use our personal resources to cope with life, to solve everyday problems. It’s those traits of our personality that contribute to the realisation of our potential, remember we talked a lot about that?
Everyone has their own strengths, they depend a lot on our character and the experiences we have had, what we have learned to do, what we are good at, what we like and what gives us satisfaction.
Everyone has their own unique mix of qualities, the strengths that characterise us.
If we don’t know them, if we don’t know we have them, how can we use them?
The point is to find ways to recognise your resources, maximise the use of your strongest ones, and strengthen your weakest ones.
The more you know yourself, the more you know your resources and how to manage them, the more you are yourself.
Authentic people play to their strengths, they have fun.
They spend a lot of time doing the things they really love.
If you have identified some small area of interest, cultivate it!
Even if it has nothing to do with your work, cultivate it.
The more you can incorporate things you like into your daily life, the more likely you are to be happy and well.
Does it feel good to cut the grass and take care of the garden? That’s great!
If you keep at it, you’ll get to a point where gardening will be good for you, where you’ll be really happy or satisfied with your work.
Do you like chopping wood? Cultivate that strength.
Do you like sewing? Cooking? Do you see how these little things can become strengths if you put time and passion into them?
This constant training allows you to develop resources, to learn to do things you enjoy. Once your list of things you can do is rich, you can even think about getting paid to do those things, but more on that later!
I look forward to seeing you next week, with an extra bit of authenticity!
