18 June 2021

Are you ready for change?
Do you really want to change?

Lately we have been talking about creative adjustment: the ability to adapt to changes is certainly a useful resource, it allows us to find solutions, to learn from small or big problems that life puts in front of us.
In this case, the change comes from outside, you can only decide whether to live it as an opportunity or to suffer it, right?

In this year and a half we have all been faced with major social, family and work changes. Our habits have changed. We have adapted, more or less creatively. Whoever does not have the resources, suffers the imposed change.

What happens when you decide to change?
When you want it?

Let’s start from the base, let’s define well what change means.

Change is the transition from the current state of a situation (A) to the desired state (B).
To make this transition possible we need motivation and resources.

We have already addressed both motivation and resources together, so I hope you feel ready to understand well what change entails.

What prevents our resources from working and helping us to change a situation, a behaviour that no longer works?

What blocks us in the process of change?

The main difficulty in using resources for change is not at the level of skills but at the level of beliefs.

Convictions are those ideas we have about ourselves that we believe to be true.
They can empower us or limit us. For the time being let’s be satisfied with this poor explanation, we will talk about it later.

You are clear about the current state of things (A);

– we have identified what is not working;

– so what do you want to change (B).

To change means to leave something certain for something we do not yet know if it will bring improvements. We have said that it takes energy and courage to get involved.

Are you sure that you want to change?

I invite you to think about four possible scenarios:

1_I DON’T WANT TO CHANGE.

Let others adapt to me! It is not my fault if the situation is like this.

I stay in my comfort zone, I am not even aware of what is preventing me from changing and I am fine with that.

How do you feel when you have this attitude or when you recognise it in others?

2_I DON’T KNOW HOW TO CHANGE.

I have been doing this all my life and I don’t know where to start. What if I am wrong?

This could be a good opportunity to ask for help, have you ever thought about that?

Becoming aware of how you work, discovering what resources you can rely on and how to overcome your limiting conditioning could be of great help.

Try to think of topics/issues/situations you would be willing to change.

3_I DON’T GIVE MYSELF THE OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE.

These things don’t work for me anyway, I’m a rare case, I’ve already tried them all…

I boycott myself, I don’t allow myself the opportunity to change.

There is conditioning behind this, would you like to know what it is?

Think about the reason why you can’t try something you’ve never done.

4_I AM READY-READY!

I can’t take it anymore, I keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

At this point I think I’m doing something wrong.

I’m asking for help and I’m putting energy and will into going further!

Write down the list of things you are ready to change!

You know I am not a fan of “if you can dream it, you can achieve it”, we have carefully assessed the resources available to move from the current state to the desired state.

Personal resources, character, money, time, your skills…

What is missing?
Are you willing to acquire the resources you lack?
To develop them? Do you have enough motivation to do that?

If you feel difficulties, ask yourself honestly if you really want to change.

Even when you are determined to change, don’t take a leap in the dark without assessing the situation well.
If you don’t assess the change well and jump in just to escape an uncomfortable situation, you may be setting yourself up for failure. Can you handle it?

I look forward to the next one, with a little more authenticity!